NOTE: ‘she’, 'her' and 'girl' can be swapped for ‘he’, 'his' and 'boy' anywhere in this article!
Can I let you in on a little secret?
As of last week, I've been single for FOUR years. (By choice!)
Now, to some, that may seem downright shocking.
To others, it may ignite a spark in them to "fix" me or question if something is wrong.
And to some rare others, this may elicit absolutely no response.
Because it's none of their damn business.
Photo by Yael Perez, July 2017
This isn't fitness or health related but you can bet it's related to general wellness!
When you share concern with someone over her "lack" of dating or relationships all she hears is "you are not whole. There is a piece of you missing. You're less of a person because you aren't coupled up".
For the girl who already judges herself for being single or who feels inadequate compared to others her age, this is dangerous territory.
I know, I know. It comes from a place of love.
But, you know what would be a better way to express that love?
Allowing her to live her life on HER OWN terms. In her own way.
With or without whomever she please.
As a single millennial, I can relate to the pain that others my age go through. Our dating culture sucks. Technology has fucked everything up. And our parents just don't get it because they didn't go through it themselves.
I'm lucky in the sense that I have no one breathing down my neck to get hitched and start popping out grandchildren.
I see it all around me, though. The media, pop culture, societal norms – each indicating that your worth is a) defined by your beauty and b) defined by your relationship status.
I say - Fuck your standards. Fuck your norms. To hell with all of it.
Because, can you honestly tell me that you’re happy?
Maybe the majority of people in relationships are happy. No doubt, a big portion are not. And I'm sure that in many cases it has nothing to do with their partners.
It has everything to do with them not knowing what they want out of life.
Or maybe they have issues they've never dealt with.
Being single helps you to find your purpose because when you find it there is no doubt that it was YOU who discovered it. That you are doing whatever it is for yourself.
And then, that shiny fulfilled version of you, can proceed to find your soulmate or whatever you want to call it, or you can continue living your life the way you want, without attachment.
As long as you are living YOUR authentic life, a relationship or no relationship, is irrelevant.